This can't be good.

My mind has been all kinds of screwy lately. I've been way too honest with people, but that always been kind of a hallmark with me, so I can't really call that a symptom of anything. I have been especially needy and that really bothers me. I find myself telling people the kind of truths best saved for a diary (the paper kind you genuinely don't want others to see) in order to elicit a reaction and I'm settling for pity.

What the fuck, man?

I don't think I'm doing it consciously. Someone says something that prompts a response and I respond. It's just that my responses have been a little too revealing for my taste. The people in the showtunes chat rooom don't need to know that I have a worse track record than Shirley Devore.

What bothers me the most is that I'm recognizing behavior patterns from when I was in college. That's what I meant by the title of this post. I'm not friends with anyone I knew in college, by mutual decision on all sides. (I double-majored in Playwriting and Brooding) Granted, the friends I made in (no, that's not redundant, shut up) college were pretty fucking lousy but they were the only friends I had at the time and I needed them. Just as much as I need people now (and it don't feel so fuckin' lucky, Mr. Merrill). But I don't know how to need someone. I mean, the only time it's really acceptable to actually tell someone you need him is when you're physically impaired. But to be that emotionally naked and honest with another human being... how the fuck do you do that and then face that person the next day?

In the words of Amish Barbara Cook, "This is all very new to me."

Showtunes of the Day

It's now Showtunes of the Day. Musicals of the Day carried the implication that I would only be listening to show albums, which would negate...

Phyllis Diller: Born to Sing (1970, various). Mercifully, it's not a straight-up album of standards. She quips during the songs. Which is to say that she kills during the songs. "If I bought a hat, they'd cancel Easter."

Sugar Babies: 1979 Original Broadway cast recording (McHugh/Fields, Dubin) (mostly). Ann Miller and Mickey Rooney in a vaudeville revue. I have one of those candles in a tall jar, y'know what I mean?, that has a picture of Ann Miller pasted to it. It's AWESOME! The national tour starred Carol Channing and Robert Morse. Somewhere, there's gotta be one of those non-existant bootleg recordings of that tour. And find it, I will. Or won't, rather, because it doesn't exist.

Into the Woods: 1991 Original London cast recording (Sondheim). I discovered Into the Woods in 1993 and yet I've never heard this album. All because someone whose taste in shows I did not share and whom I haven't seen in years told me she didn't like it.

Prettybelle: 1982 cast album with most of the 1971 cast (Styne/Merrill) If you'd heard it, you wouldn't be able to stop listening to it either. Just to believe it.

Musicals of the Day: Jule Styne edition

Felt like revisiting some lesser known Styne today.

Fade Out - Fade In: 1964 Original Broadway cast recording (Styne/Comden & Green), Carol Burnett was not happy with this show

Hazel Flagg: 1953 Original Broadway cast recording (Styne/Hilliard), featuring Helen Gallagher as Carole Lombard

Prettybelle: 1982 cast album with most of the 1971 cast (Styne/Merrill) "A musical comedy tale of rape and resurrection starring Angela Lansbury as an alcoholic schizophrenic in a sanitarium? We'd be stupid not to do this!" For what it's worth, manic-depressives do do rewrites. We just get grumpy when forced to admit it wasn't right the first time.

Subways Are for Sleeping: 1961 Original Broadway cast album (Styne/Comden & Green), I've been in a Phyllis Newman kind of mood lately. Apparently.